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This Week's Critic Reviews

Catherine Cleary in the Irish Times wins the prize for most arresting review title of the week, calling Five Guys on George's Street "My worst ever meal as a restaurant reviewer". If that's not punchy enough to make you dive in, nothing is.

Bizarrely she opted for the veggie sandwich (so over this healthy living schtick - although it has provided for entertaining content on this occasion) and lived to regret it. It sounds utterly gross, with CC saying two bites was all she could manage before her gag reflex kicked in, and comparing it to the veggie burger from the country chipper, with all the toppings but no burger. We've seen pictures and it truly looks like a disgusting afterthought of a dish.

Her teenager's beef burger was "fine", but the cheese had the "consistency and flavour of molten Barbie doll", chips were crisp but over-salted, and a milkshake was "cloyingly sweet". Between all of this and the filthy table covered in the remnants of other people's lunch, she calls it "the most dismal dining table in the history of this column." Read her review here. Get better burgers here and here.

With that one hard to follow, we're going to the other end of the spectrum with Tom Doorley's review of Glovers Alley in the Irish Daily Mail, where he thought €100 a head for lunch was worth every penny. (We also thought it was value for money everything considered - read our Once Over here.) He admits to hoping to hate GA after all their pre-opening noise, but calls his lunch "brilliant", and describes McFadden's cooking as having "small explosions of startlingly pure and assertive flavours forming a kind of minefield of delight with all of the other elements on the plate."

Highlights included a starter of asparagus, button mushroom, mustard and aged Belper Knoll (Swiss cheese - below) and a main of suckling pig belly and confit with crisp slices of turnip, essence of chorizo (no idea) and Cabernet Sauvignon vinegar.

He finished with Aoife Noonan's citrus soufflé topped with chocolate ganache (which seems to be reaching celebrity status based on the number of people who've been sending us pictures of it). The soufflé was so light he wondered if it was going to float away, and he claims he broke the habit of a lifetime by exclaiming "wow" in the middle of the restaurant.

With wine and service the bill for two came to just over €200 and he thought it was worth every cent. (Review not currently online)

Over on the canal in Portobello, Leslie Williams had a similarly lovely time at Locks, where he was trying out the wares of new head chef Chris Maguire. He ate from the very good value market menu along with a few extras, including the homemade bread with sea trout and dulse butter, which his guest found so intense as to be almost crude - clearly this person is insane as it's one of the most incredible things we've ever tasted.

Textures and flavours in a mackerel tartare were in lovely harmony, and a dish of "crisp and pungent" asparagus, smoked lardo, black garlic sauce, girolles and grated cured egg (below) also hit the spot.